aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHow Can You Survive A Zombie Outbreak?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa What do Zombies do? a

Functions: The zombie is a single-organ automaton. A zombie's only purpose is to kill any living organism is sees, nothing else. It does not classify any different types of person or organism, and will pursue any being until it loses the scent or until that creature is killed, or until the zombie is destroyed itself. It is like a program designed to do one thing. It will not stop until the power source or the program is destroyed. It will continue its function until told to stop. Unfortunately, a zombie cannot be told to stop (Many a fool has been devoured when they stood their ground and commanded the zombie to stop). It will continue to do its single function. You must manually destroy its power source. Also, dead (and alive) zombie flesh is incredibly toxic and you will die within seconds of eating it. A zombie is left with what human that it had in its previous life. If an incredibly weak person turns, then it will most likely be unable to break down your barricades. A muscle builder, on the other hand.....

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Senses: We do not know how a zombie's senses work. They may be heightened, as a zombie can pick up a scent blown by the wind from a mile away, they can see food from a mile away, and they can hear food lightly whispering on the other side of a concrete wall. They feel no pain. They can have all of their nerves (excluding the brain) torn out, gouge out their eyes, destroy their noses, and cut off their ears, and they will still find you. This has lead some people to believe that zombies have a "sixth sense", something that evolution has forgotten in normal humans. Thankfully, it has also lost all hand-eye coordination and other essential dexterity-related senses. If you place a survivor on a roof of a house, and placed ladders to climb up, and then placed four zombies at the bottom, zero in four zombies would survive the experience. Here is a list of everything that will attract zombies within earshot:

Screaming, gunshots, moaning, yelling, noise from a battle, loud roaring from power tools, etc.

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Behavior: A zombie's behavior shows little in comparison to a human's. A zombie has no pack instinct, a horde developing is merely by chance. However, when a zombie moans, this signals that they have found prey. This will also alert other zombies within earshot, who will then proceed to moan. This leads to the development of a horde, not because there is an overmind directing them. Zombies do not have enough sense to pick up a weapon and kill. A zombie also has no memories from their previous life. Your grandmother, aunt, father, mother, brother, sister, baby, even your wife or husband would all love to devour you. They will not remember baking brownies with you while they munch on your cheek. Also, zombies prefer human meat over all others. They will go for you before Fluffy the Poodle. Also, they prefer younger humans to older ones, maybe because the young are "fresher", but we will never know why they prefer this to that. Most of their behavior is shrouded in mystery. Also, their instincts disregard all danger. Pretend that there was a survivor on one side of a cliff and zombies on the other. There is a broken bridge in between them. All of the zombies would mindlessly shamble to their death, not even realizing that their colleagues were falling to their death, one by one. And, as an extra note, zombies cannot swim. Their minds do not realize the advantage. They will crawl under the sea if stuck there, rendering boats to be safe from swimming zombies. However, they will still climb anchors and can become bloated or waterlogged enough to float to the top of the water.

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Disposal: The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy their brain. Plain and simple. A .22 rimfire would suffice if it penetrates the skull. You can kill them burning them, blowing them up (Not advised; it is dangerous to you and because you can't aim shrapnel, so it will most likely destroy their legs), stabbing them, decapitating them (You have to stab them in the head after decapitating them), crushing the skull, but you will die by hand-to-hand (I mean actual hands) combat, so use it only in last resorts. Even if you take off the head and then remove the skull, leaving only the brains, that is still a zombie. Killing a zombie in an incredibly violent way, such as hacking them to pieces with a machete, will get you doused in zombie juice, which just so happens to turn you into a zombie if you have an open cut, because you now have the virus inside of you. Please wear bandages over all of your cuts, sores, and any other flesh opening. Remember, DESTROY THE BRAIN IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Remember that headshots are incredibly hard to do, so if you must escape, just blow off their kneecaps)

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